First, find a field that looks kind of like this. Decide that you need this to be a garden space. Get some gloves, a rake, and a pitch fork.
Start pulling weeds. But then run into burrs that go right through those gloves and into your hands. They are impossible to get off the gloves. Discard gloves. Continue.
Next, rake all those weeds into piles and then use your pitch fork to scoop them up and haul them away. You'll get pretty pearly-white spots on your hands after using your rake and pitch fork for a few hours. Then that pearly skin will break open and you'll have a nice raw-steak red color where it had been. So there's a little color for you-and no waiting for polish to dry!
Soon (ok, not that soon) you will have a nice clear piece of land.
That's when you'll get really excited and just have to till up a little space to see and feel the dirt.You just gotta get your hands in that wonderful earth. Even though you know it's way too wet to till.
So, of course, you'll jam up your tiller and have to take it apart to fix it. (But that dirt was black, rich, and gorgeous!) This is where you get all those little nicks on your hands.
See, your skin will already be really dry from all the wind and sun. So it gets scrapes and cuts easily.
But that's ok, just rinse your hands at the hydrant.
You're almost done with your manicure! You just need a little bling to show it off. You'll want to go with a ring made of...something that is mostly silver-ish in color with a few remaining specks of gold paint that haven't chipped off yet. And a colorful piece of plastic where some folks might have a diamond. It's best if this ring is a gift from a small child.
And there you have it, my Farmer's Manicure!
I even scrubbed off all the dirt and blood for you!
Maybe it's not for everyone.
But it's for me.
Are you ready to get out there and dig in the dirt too?
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